high people should be assigned attendants
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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