careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
there was a trapeze. enough said
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
