So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think my nap took me to another dimension
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
