Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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