I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
