Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
