He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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