just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My hand turned me down
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
