I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
