your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
