Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
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I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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