Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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