sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
did i just pee glitter
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
