we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
