Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.