if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
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ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
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Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off