Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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