I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
