mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
