What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
