May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
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So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!