Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
