I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
