Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize