My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
