You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just blew my weed a kiss
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
