I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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