I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
