My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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