I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
