it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
