I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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