You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
