now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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