remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
