i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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