My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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