So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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