the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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