I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
