Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
