He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
