Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize