I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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