is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize