everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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