tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
