She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He did a backflip because drugs
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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