take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
