Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
