Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
