It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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