And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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