I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
