I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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